Met

When the heart unfurls into new terrain.

This past weekend left me feeling sensations I’d never felt before.

How precious to track new terrain in the vast infinite landscape of carnal Life. To slip inside caverns yet untouched & bloom into the spaces & places with textures yet untouched.

Struck like a gong, still ringing with a familiarity for which I have yet to find words. Those who know me know that to be rendered speechless & void of poetics is rare. Wildly hallowed, for it means I have walked once again into Her gaping mouth. It is only by touch I will find my way, fingers & palms tracing the rings of Her throat as thrill & curiosity call me deeper. & when the thrill & curiosity leave, Her smooth muscles will drag me ever further down, swallowing any terror along with my bones & blood.

Dropping my skull to my ribcage, I offer the tender mind of the child to this altar. Years ago, I surrendered the part of me that needs to make meaning. In so doing, a wellspring so ancient began to gain strength in current, the base of my spine bubbling with rivers that reveal meaning. Reveal the lights of truth ready to be feasted upon, & shadowed tones that must be met for what they are: the unknown. The freedom in this commitment is blissful, yet not without its demands. Over & over, I must make offerings to this altar of emergent Life: my fear, my control, my pain, my g r a s p. The white knuckled grip so cherished by the primal & colonized lobes of my brain. Humbling is this discipleship, & yet it is the only true way for me now.

So again, the weight of my glia & neurons & blood & skull drops. My breath fills my belly & viscera & the wet, heavy bones of my pelvis. I close my eyes & open my ears, allow my hands to palpate the tones of bones yet unknown.

When the dark senses open, She begins reveal Her infinite, ecstatic, terrifying unfurling.

There are a few familiar tones my fingers feel the pulse of here. It feels important. It feels ancient. It feels safe. It feels magnetic & alive & erotic. It feels opening. It feels… like it deserves my presence & lean in.

So I lean. I allow. My heart blossoms. My sits bones get wider & heavier. Sounds rise up from the base of my spine. Life opens me in the resonance of this meeting & to this I say, “Yes, more please.”

To the body that opened these places, I say thank you. To the heart that showed me new caverns of my own, I bow. To the connection that lives here, I offer tending & turning of the soils. The echo here feels different than an echo, more like a tone unbroken. Not bouncing off the walls of mountains once crossed, but simply a continuous flow of waters old & holy. At this river, I will drink, for I know there is a nutrient here that is in service to All. On its banks, I ask, “What do you, too, need? What alimental is deficit in your vast soul & how might I feed you? Where do you ache, & may I sit with you there?”

Let my chalice fill til it spills into the hearts & bodies around me. & if you wish it too, may yours fill as well. Sparkling with clear waters of revelation, may our hearts grow bigger to be flooded with the blessings alive here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will do my best to tend this in a good way, and promise to learn when I stumble. Like I child, I will forever be learning, and I will approach these flowered meadows with light feet & a joyful heart. For ushering me here, Mother, thank you.